Felt a bit neither here nor there last week with the folks from home. I am used to being the center of the whole fucking universe so it's hard to cede my position, but absolutely necessary as Chris reminded me. In addition, my mood has been in a bit of freefall too lately. When I moved to Munich, I was experiencing the most happiness I had ever felt in my entire life. I felt great about my relationship and positive about the move. I genuinely felt (and still feel) that I was going forward and it was a fantastic feeling. So, stupidly, I stopped taking the Prozac I'd been taking for years to combat my chronic depression. For months and months I was fine, but in retrospect that had a lot to do with my personal situation and the weather. About a month ago, I started to lose it....no ambition to do anything, constant feelings of inadequacy, and bouts of tears for no reason. Poor Chris, whose personality and temperament are always perfectly even, didn't know what had hit me...or him for that matter, but as always, endeavoured to be completely understanding. He knows my family history of depression, but it's hard to fathom unless you've been there. But he's been great. Last week when I saw Joanna and started on a crying jag, the first thing she said to me was "Did you go off your meds?" Fuck, how I hate when she is right. She knew immediately having been down this road with me at least once or twice before. She made me promise to get back on them and I have. She's right. I have got to stop doing this shit. It is crazy. SSRI's have made my life so much better and I need them. Not one thing wrong with that. So they will kick in during the next ten days or so.